Cold Hearted

We all have an awareness of how to behave when we know other people are watching whether we are fully conscious of it or not. We become more mindful about the way we carry ourselves around those that we want to impress, but what about what we carry around with us? Sure, we can put on our best for others, hiding our innermost thoughts and feelings, but such a sobering reminder is found in Psalm 44:21B: “for He knoweth the secrets of the heart." When was the last time you fully marinated on the fact that God knows every little thing that is in your heart?

Something that I’d like to highlight today is unforgiveness and resentment which weighs on us heavily and even negatively affects our health. Before giving my life to Christ, I was someone that ruminated on negative feelings. They disturbed me in my waking and sleeping hours. Whenever I felt slighted, I’d either consider the person dead to me for whatever period of time I felt was suitable or find a meticulous way to get back at them, ensuring that they’d get their ‘just’ dues. Going through life was painful not only mentally having to carry around all those ill feelings but ended up manifesting physically into literal weight and pain in my body.

‘Getting something off of your chest’ isn’t just a popular idiom, but an accurate depiction of the physical strain holding onto something can have on you. Notice how when you let something go, you feel lighter not just spiritually, but physically. Because God forgave us, we have to learn how to walk in forgiveness as well. However, we cannot do it alone. In Matthew 11:28, Jesus says “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” When feelings come into my mind of what others have done or said that has negatively impacted me in the past, I pray about it because I trust that Jesus means what He says when He tells us to lean on Him when we are feeling restless. This is not of my own doing, but the Holy Spirit at work within me. In fact, sometimes I have to ask for help even praying for those that hurt me, barely being able to squeak out the words “…and please bless them.” and truly mean it from the bottom of my heart.

We can often feel obligated to be the judge of those that harmed us, but we need to wake up and realize that we are not God. Romans 9:18 reads: “Therefore God has mercy on whom he wants to have mercy, and he hardens whom he wants to harden.” God can do anything He wants, with anyone He wants at any time He wants and it isn’t up to us to get what we consider justice. In fact, Romans 12:19 reads: “Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.”

Don’t let unforgiveness and resentment turn your heart cold. Scarily enough, it can even turn us off to God, blaming Him for the problems and pain instead of the imps that were pulling the strings the whole time (and let’s be honest, at times we give the devil a break and just do it to ourselves but want someone to blame). Sometimes, we can be completely unaware of the absolute wreck we’ve become because of unchecked sin in our lives and holding onto grudges. Thankfully, we can ask God to reveal these things to us and rely on Him to help us through them. A simple, but effective prayer can be found in Psalm 139:23-24: “Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” God is for us and is willing and able to melt the iciness of our hearts if we let Him.